"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." -- Frank Sinatra

If you are like the 75% of people who drank to excess over the New Years Holiday and spent a good deal of quality time getting intimate with your toilet, here are a few new products to make your next visit to the porcelain goddess a memorable one.

Here at Digital Watch, we're proud of the fact that we can all make it right through the night without visiting the lavatory. We wake every morning with a great sense of achievement, before charging off to the bathroom for an emergency pee. But it won't be long before our bladders grow weak and surly and we find ourselves having to potty during night. Thank the Lord, then, for the Lav Nav.

This ingenious invention shines a beacon of light to guide you at night, safe from the threat of stubbed toes. And the best thing? It glows green when the seat is down and red when the seat is up for the queen in your life. Incorporating a nightlight, visual targeting system, and "Put the damned seat down!" reminder technology, the LavNav is a practical solution to those familiar with the issues. The LavNav turns on when you approach in the dark, and turns off after you leave, shining gentle yet sufficient light where you need it, when you need it.

 

Aquariass While you're heaving, why not add a little glamour to your bathroom and have something fun to watch with this live aquarium, the Aquariass by Oliver Beckert. The fully functioning tank fits American Standard bowls. Custom bowl installation is available. Each piece is made to order, The Aquariass measures 22" x 14" x 9" deep, Fish and aquarium components sold separately. And no, the fish don't get flushed!

 

Wizmark

Richard Deutsch, an electrical engineer and former chiropractor, has come up with an invention that looks like a hockey puck with mesh wings, is sensitive to changes in light and has a tendency to go off with even the slightest bit of movement, which can prompt red flashing lights, crunchy guitar chords and a commercial announcement.

The most notable detail, however, is its intended placement: in the urinals of public restrooms
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Dr. Deutsch's marketing creation, the Wizmark, which he calls an "interactive urinal communicator," is one of several new technologies to have intruded into the men's room. "There were several obstacles to overcome before the Wizmark came to market." First, he had manufacturing problems in China, where standards, he said, are slack. Then the speakers were too loud, so he had to create a thicker plastic casing. And then there was the splash factor, an issue better left unexplained.

As for any danger of electrical shock from the device, which is powered by two AA batteries, he said: "At three volts? I don't think so." Looking ahead, Dr. Deutsch is exploring ways to make his creation read chips on ID badges. "It'll be able to say, 'Good day, John, how are you doing?' "

Dr. Deutsch is also working on a version that will fit inside a toilet bowl. The details aren't all worked out, but he remains confident. "I can promise you, it's coming for women," he said.

 

Bladder Meter

On the off chance that you can't actually tell yourself, Takeshiba Electric is going to start selling a little handheld device that uses ultrasound waves to measure the urine in your bladder and then let you know whether it's time to do your business or not. We'd make a lame joke about how Japanese this is, but this is way, way too weird, even for us.